What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

5 Comments

fear

A year ago at this time, I was living on a beautiful homestead with a husband-chickens and pigs I adored, working in the same emergency room I began my career in, living just a few miles from where I was born and raised.  This question appeared to me and hit me so hard I was physically rocked.

Was life decent? Absolutely.  Was anything horrible happening to me? No.  Could I live the rest of life as things were and be ok? Probably.  But this question alone completely changed the course of my life.  I have touched on the happenings of my life over the last year and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for your ears and eyes as I have gone through that challenging journey.

Separating from my husband of just a few years, was literally one of the most awful experiences of my life.  The courage it took me to emotionally and physically leave that marriage, that homestead, that lifestyle, came from some small seed in my belly, that had been slowly growing roots for some time-and for that seed, I am eternally grateful.

The fear that racked my brain and my soul about that decision and all that was to come, was palpable.  Fear that I was making a terrible mistake.  Fear that I would never find the extraordinary life I intensely craved.  The fallout of that decision financially and personally was grueling-and I continue to deal with the consequences on a daily basis.

But a year later, I stand on the other side of that dark cave.  I broke loose of my fears that kept me heavily chained and hit the ground running.  I pushed, I endured and I survived.  I left the comfort zone of my marriage and ran smack into an amazing man who shares the joys and sorrows of life with me in a way I have never experienced.  I left the comfort zone of my local emergency room and traveled to a new state, completely alone, and found a wonderful group of people and a great experience I’ll never forget.  The plans for joining my family on the farm in the next year were interrupted-and thus a new chapter began in this redhead’s life book.

For those who follow me on facebook (which you totally should because you get to see plenty of videos of Oliver’s craziness and Lilly’s very odd sleeping positions) you saw this post…

newbeginning

I made a choice to follow my gut and move forward with what felt right to me.  I heeded the important lesson I learned over the last year and made the choices I wanted to make.  I didn’t let fear hold me back.

I am beginning a new job in a fresh new hospital this week and my biggest news of all is(drum roll please) I bought a lovely little homestead to house my family and fulfill my dreams.  It’s not a lot of land by most folks standards, but it’s enough to start over with chickens, a garden and get back to the rural way of life I hold so dear.  This purchase came with sacrifices- physical possessions, old dreams and others on a more personal level, but I know that it is exactly the right step for me to take.

So my dear friends, I am thankful more than ever that I have you as companions on this new chapter.  Stay tuned as I start a new job in a different (but not too far) city, majorly renovate (with lots of Neil’s help of course!) and make the new house a rustic chic style, and embark on the homestead life once again.

“Everything you want, is on the other side of fear.” -George Adair

Until next time…

FINALSIGNOFF

5 thoughts on “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

  1. If you are attached to someone who is not your soul mate then you can never be really happy in life. You can be comfortable but never truly happy. If one of you in a relationship isn’t happy then it can turn into a waste of time and effort for nothing. I’m so glad you finally got your little homestead. You work in a high stress job and your homestead is your comfort zone to remove the stress you encounter. Having recently been through the emergency room and then ICU for a day I was impressed with the level of care the Nurses exhibited. I felt they actually cared about who I was and how I felt. That’s so important to the patient. I’ve been in hospitals with family members and always felt the Nurses didn’t care and where hardcore. It’s nice to see that’s changing.

  2. Personally, I applaud you and am proud of you. Life is not easy, but the hard choices bring the best in life. From someone who found profound love late in life, I hope you have what I have. I wish you the happiness I have and wish you many years to enjoy it.

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