Yesterday marked the 3rd anniversary of Homestead Redhead. It is strange to read the posts from January 2013 and know all of the challenges-and changes-that were ahead of me back then.
Take a look back at my first posts all those years ago (it sure seems like it anyway!)…January 2013 HR.
One of my very favorites posts of all time is Homestead Heritage. I love thinking about the great grandfather I was never able to meet, but relate to so much.
I can only imagine what the next few years will hold for Homestead Redhead and my continued life journey.
There are such big events in the coming year, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.
In a few weeks I am leaving my travel nurse position and taking a permanent weekend position back at the first hospital I ever worked in.
In a month, everything will be set to begin construction on our forever farm house.
In a few months, I will be flying to a new state, I am terrified of flying, to have a week long Alaskan adventure and come back as Neil’s wife.
In six months, I am forever saying goodbye to my twenties and taking on a whole new decade.
I have been guilty of always telling myself, “Just get through this and then things will settle down.” Over the last few years, I am slowly coming to the conclusion (I can be slow sometimes) that maybe things won’t actually settle down for a long time…if ever. Life is extremely hectic and the years seem to fly by before I can even catch my breath.
Usually quite the optimist, I am finding myself totally surprised at this realization, and even a little saddened. I don’t want to work all the time, but I have to. I don’t want to spend the money I worked so hard to earn moving heavy patients, getting yelled at by drug addicts and holding down screaming, spitting children, on credit card payments, medical bills and groceries.
I want to be free from responsibilities to people, places and things. I want to wake up and spend the day braiding flowers into my curls on a blanket warm from the sun, gathering freshly laid eggs and riding around a green pasture on beautiful horse with a flowing mane, but I can’t. Perhaps this is the final whips of youthful dreams evaporating before my ever aging self or perhaps I just needs some time off.
With my gypsy soul bound by the chains of obligation, I will continue to push forward one step at a time. Maybe one day my gypsy life will outweigh the responsibilities of my current life. Maybe one day I will have a life that isn’t so utterly exhausting. “Maybe one day”, is what I am holding onto for dear life.
Until next time…